About Me

Personal Details I'm a gay, white male, born in September 1973, so I guess that makes me 'youngish'. Given that none of that is very politically correct, I'll revise it to say: I'm a chronologically, pigmently, procreationaly challenged non-female. I also despise political correctness carried too far. Where I Live I live in the city of Gosford, which is about 3/4 of an hours drive (at 110km/h) north of Sydney (the capital of NSW). If you go by train, it's about 1 1/2 hours. What I do for a Living I formerly worked for BHP Information Technology as a system administrator. However, when that division was close to being sold, I moved onwards to a finance company called Ord Minnett in the CBD of Sydney. After 6 months of working there I realised the finance industry was no place for me, so I have now resigned and am moving on to a small storage/backup and recovery company on the North Shore of Sydney. When I'm with the right people, I happen to enjoy my work. I have a passion for backups - hey, someone has to. If I had to list a single career goal it would be to become a world recognised expert in the field of backup and recovery.

What it means to me to be Gay

Almost everyone has their own opinion of what it means to be gay. Here's mine.

Basically, I see myself as just another guy, a guy who happens to be attracted to men. You might think I'm being a little blase about it --- well, that's not true. in fact, I think a person's sexuality is a defining part of their personality, but I'd like to think that I don't have to parade it. After all, how many guys do you know who start a conversation with, "Hi, my name is Jack ... I'm a heterosexual you know. I tell people that I'm gay as I think is necessary. No, this does not equate to hiding it. If I'm asked what I think a girl, my usual response is something like, "Not much, but see that guy over there..."

I usually describe myself as a "straight gay". What does this mean? Perhaps not a lot, but what I try to get across is that I dislike the sterotypes that are typically associated with gays, and that I'm just an ordinary guy. This doesn't mean I'm what is called straight-acting! I don't go for drag, I don't call myself a queer, or a queen, or a fag, and I strenuously object to being called any of those. I passionately dislike other gays who try to insist that I should conform to one of the stereotypes. I really hate it when I meet a queen who insists of calling me by a girly name.

You see, I feel that the stereotypes have done their work and they need to be discouraged.

Why? Gays and lesbians are now at a stage of acceptance where the stereotypes tend to encourage flack, rather than focus our fight for further acceptance. In other words, they become a focus for hatred. A homophobic minister preaching to his congregation finds it much easier to encourage homophobia by talking about "effeminate homosexuals wearing womens clothing" than he does by talking about Mr James Smith, Average Citizen who leads an ordinary life and doesn't fit into any stereotype.

Rather than squeezing ourselves into stereotypes that we've outgrown like someone who buys a pair of jeans three sizes too small rather than admit that change has occurred, it's time we started portraying ourselves as ordinary people. Trust me, we'll all feel more comfortable. We are ordinary people --- as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, uncles, aunts, cousins, work colleagues --- ordinary citizens that by and large want to live ordinary lives. I firmly beleive that if we can get this across, then we can gain that next step of acceptance ... rights fully equal to those enjoyed by our heterosexual friends: the right to marry, the right to be declared a couple, the right to non-interference and non-discrimination, the the right to an enjoyable life.

My Other Half I've been living with Darren now since Christmas 1996, and what a wonderful Christmas that was. After years of wondering whether I'd ever find anyone, I did! In 1996 I did 4 months work in Perth for BHP Iron Ore and in the last month that I was there, I felt the need to expand my horizons and start looking for a partner. Not in that sort of way, but I came to the realisation that not being into the Club Scene or anything like that, I couldn't (a) think of meeting a guy at a club (after all, if I went out to a club - something I don't like to do - and met someone, it would be under false pretenses anyway), or (b) wait for someone to drop out of the come out of the sky to me. As it was, it sort of was like someone coming out of the sky to me. I advertised on Pinkboard making it abundantly clear what sort of person I was and what sort of person I wanted to meet and we'd see what happened after that. By sheer coincidence (I don't believe in luck ... something which always causes - interesting - discussions between Darren and I), Darren visited Pinkboard for the first time since he'd first bookmarked it 3 or 4 months ago. After a few days of email we started talking to each other on the phone and after just over a week of that Darren decided to dive in and fly over to Perth to spend the weekend with me. It was the best decision either of us have ever made, and when I flew back to New South Wales at the end of my work, it was into his arms and we've been together ever since. Darren and I are similar enough that it is sometimes scary. You know how you've maybe watched some couple complete each others thoughts? Catch on to a joke just 'too early'? Complete the song when only half a bar has been hummed? Say the same joke or line or line of a song to each other at the same time? Well, I always thought that such things were TV crap until I met Darren ... it's true, it happens! A partner is a tremendous source of strength and a true example of synergy ... the whole being greater than the sum of the parts ... this is how both of us feel about the relationship so it would be a major under-statement to say that it's satisfying and we've both found what we've always been looking for.

Other Interests

OK, I guess I've gone on about serious stuff for quite some time now. Maybe I should get into some other standard interests now. What sort of stuff do I read, I hear you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked ... fantasy, sci-fi, historical, gay works of all forms, computer manuals (yes, I am a nerd remember!) philosophy texts, the occasional quantum physics book and just about anything that appeals to me at the time.

Who are my favourite authors? Well, I'd have to say without a doubt that my favourite author would be Steven Donaldson. Janny Wurts would then be next - if you want to read a great, long series, dive into her Mistwraith legacy! Tim Winton comes in close as a great Australian author, and while I'm starting to tire of the Midkemia stuff, Raymond E. Feist is still going strong.

What sort of music do I like to listen to? This is easier to answer in the negative: I don't like heavy metal, rap or punk rock. After that it's fairly open season. I like techno, old rock, classical, opera, and yes, even some of the stereotyped music!

What are my favourite movies? Well, I can't say any particular one. However, I can say that I'll never be able to see the following movies enough: Any Star Trek Movie (Except Number 5 - there are definite limits to that one), any Star Wars Movie, "Six Degrees of Separation", "The Sum of Us", "Beautiful Thing", "Contact", "Sound of Music", "Star Ship Troopers" (Just the bit where the really whiny, irritating guy who had been from Melrose Place gets his brains sucked out - it's the only good bit of the entire movie), and recently, "Elizabeth" and "Head On".