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061225 Pge 01 TOP


In a world where the rich are getting richer and the poor are being exterminated in subtle ways... I can't say I have much to actually celebrate today other than the recent Solstice. But I am happy with my own company and the passing well-wishes of close friends. What more can a decent person ask for these days.

I have been trying to get back to the keyboard, but it isn't happening lately. Dianne is living away from me now and though we are friends and I speak with her on the phone now and then, I have simply not adjusted to it all yet.

In the meantime I am affronted by things about my daughter and the goings on in her life. She is still very "disabled" by certain events that have left their mark... and as I have not been able to acquire a decent income in spite of all my efforts for over 20 years, I have not been able to do anything truly meaningful that I would like to do about Claire's life and situation either.

I cancelled Page 2 of this website some time ago. It was about Claire's fate and who and what caused her "experience". But it seemed to be too confronting to have an unknown composer presenting his own music along with so much personal, emotional distressing detail up front so early in the piece... or is it peace.

Of course I could not refrain from mentioning it at the time, but it seems that what I was saying then may have scared people who have the idea that musicians and particularly composers, have no real lives and should at least "sound like" rich celebrities. So I thought that by not talking about it, they would focus the attention on the music instead.... But I may have been mistaken.

Of course my music comes from a different "place" than so much "other music", though not all.  I have tried to compile a list of composers who have produced the kind of stuff I feel is "like mine". I suspect it was not only the magnificent genius of the creators of the SY99 synthesizer that gave me the vehicle to manifest the music into a saved format, it was also the events that have been a part of my life, that have enabled me to access the music from the depth that it has had to come. In a sense, the stresses and challenges gave me no choice but to reach into deeper levels of aesthetics and philosophically inspired realities to contact the sort of music that lifted me spiritually over those battlefields.

Most of my music I described as ambient-classical until it became clear that it was not going to fit into any one common genre comfortably. Due to the sensitivity of the sounds and themes, much of it was described as New Age, and that label, that identification, inspired me to reach into that particular direction like a dove seeking dry land, and in a way, I have been blessed by the journey. Since that moment I have found that I have presented a kind of Crossover between Classical and New Age music. So lately I just refer to it in the files as "New Age Classical". That way you read it which ever way you feel is appropriate.

It seems pretty clear to me that my taste in music is pretty much out of step with the majority of internet users at the moment , and appealing to a minority. Those I felt my music seemed to be meant for, seemed to be not usually involved with computers and multimedia, though I guess that is changing. Not getting to my kind of public easily, I unfortunately have not been able to make what I consider to be a viable income so far from internet sales. All other avenues of distribution I have tried, have either been beyond my means or fundamentally plagued by "dishonest dealers".

Though I have taken ten years to learn so much and yet so little in the midst of the disastrous distractions, I am getting to a point where I might be able to let it all go by and get on with the job with a new freshness.

Having come out of a very different world that most people I have come into contact with, I am like someone recently landed from another planet. So I spend a lot of time alone and trying to make the best use of the time in my life I may have to fulfill any fundamental goals and purposes.

Philosophically speaking, it might be a long time before "the world" catches up to what I have been "privileged to be a part of" in the 20th Century... I feel luckier than many. It has felt like a Knight's Templar kind of experience - as though I have lived my life in a "parallel world" along-side of what the "normal people" know of...  They seem to thrive on different things than me.

So many like to be involved in the wars, the genocide, the economic plunder, the propaganda, false goals and all the forms of abuse and wasting of human life and resources that has gone on unchecked for more years tan I care to remember. I am now trying to survive in the world created by these types...  which threatens to bring us all into what might best be called "The Last Days". I think a massive change in human affairs and attitudes simply MUST occur at "this time" if we are going to be running things on this planet for much longer anyway.

And so I watch and wait, and in the meantime (picking up my fan and waving it briskly) I will work on my music and art which I realise now, is perhaps not meant for "this time"... he said theatrically. It will survive though, and I hope it will be loved and appreciated I guess when the madness of this Age has passed on a little bit.

I believe in "the New Age" and it is nothing to do with some of the pseudo-scientific, pseudo-psychological nonsense that is being passed on to the innocent newer generations as New Age gobble-de-goop of "this time" either. It amazes me how strongly the "dealers" in fantasies, lies, greed and even death, have managed to fool so much of the world... Sadly to say it is mainly because profit and status and greedy territorial obsession is what so many are motivated by. If you look at how much time in a life it really to me seems like such a waste.

However, it will not be much longer, I believe, before the real New Age will begin strongly asserting itself. The "common people" will demand "it" through a groundswell perhaps propelled by the Internet. I think music like mine is for them and my values are for them and my words are for them.

The current world may seem to be far too asleep to understand these ideas without trying to pigeon-hole them in some pseudo-lewdo way. From my experience, they aren't trying very hard to understand - though it is individuals who turn up in surprising places and times that show me that they are on the way to understanding the sort of things that We can get excited about and respond to as well.

But at this time I think the chasm mankind has slipped into is pretty deep. The climb out is a challenge the likes of which has never existed before. The way forward to survive the near future would seem to have to do with issues relating mainly to - Integrity, Justice, Courage, Education, Patience, Modesty, Moderation and Compassion, just to name a "few".

I believe there are a lot of very "unwell beings" on this planet and a lot of Compassion is going to be needed to deal with them. Most have no idea how unwell they are. Many do. The Internet reveals this plainly.

And there are others who believe they are only a step away from some kind of eternal "materially supported freedom". But these people seem to be actually deluded and know nothing of how their "freedom" is so dependent upon other's entrapment - Such is the state of the current world's economic system for example.

It is no accident the world is in this state. It is just that it takes so many words and so much work to make such a little difference now against the power and influence of so many "Great Deceivers" and "The Deceived".

In my humble opinion, "Belief Systems" will have no place in the New Age. Cold Scientific "fact" will be of little use... because it is really what has been going on in the hearts of men that has, and probably has always been, the real source of all of Mankind's troubles. Ignorance of the Nature of Self, Preoccupation with material "wealth", "sensory pleasure" and the obsession with power, control, status and ego gratification. Good Grief! Why so many are willfully sliding downstream with the torrent of degradation to an oblivion, takes a lot more than a just few words to reveal. As I am so conscious of this kind of thing, I'll probably talk about it a lot as time goes by....

The concept of evolution or growth is quite paradoxical as one looks at what is really happening. Scientific development is an attempt to understand and lever upward the plight of the human race, but the "driving energy" is flawed; the motivations are so "human" in that they are limited by their current Frames of Reference - and I mean "belief systems" instead of "wisdoms".... Realities so crude and materially motivated. You just have to read almost anything on the net about America and the first thing you realise is that there is a persistent bug or fly in the ointment" that shows itself all the time. Money. The obsession with Money. "This is mine! That is yours.... and shouldn't be... it should be mine too.." etc.

Sadly the Understandings of Ages Past, and even of recent times, have been all but destroyed, and the minds of men are flung into the worst amnesia... Their willingness and capacity to understand is so damaged and recalcitrant, that a great deal of healing simply must occur before "The Ray of Understanding Light" can penetrate their "darknesses".

Many seek the key to what they seek to understand, but do not know what that understanding should be about in the first place, and so cannot recognise the "key".  Wealth, social status, academic education and material possessions will never reveal it, though they provide something for the "dizzy of spirit" to hold on to in the hope of surviving their time.

AND the "New Age" is not going to be a general recovery. It is an individual recovery which must involve protecting ones fellows against the maelstrom grabbing at them and seeking to drive them into unconsciousness. Relative states of unconsciousness are so easily attained. Earthquakes and "violent youth" can demonstrate that.

Earlier structures will gradually go as new stable data is embraced and the "new knowledge" passes into the hands of the renewed parents and children of the New Age. It's an old political ploy too. They say "the public have short memories".... Well when "the common person" is not concerned about the world - long term, this manipulation can be applied to them by those who calculate they have something to gain - which again - is all about materiality and about power and control.

As more individuals reach the various levels of safety and release through self awareness and responsibility, and take stock of what is going on, they will eventually move forward with similar minded souls into creating The Light of the New World.

It is going to take things like integrity, compassion, work and real study (as in observation) to build "The Age of Kindness"... But not without, above all, a lot of Courage.

So listen to my Personal Universe Music and surrender to the experience of the "inner real self" and we will meet at the other end of the rainbow soon enough.

(Damn! The box just broke. Bloody soap everywhere.)

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